My friend told me that “social distancing” is a misnomer. He said we should be physically distancing (6 ft + folks) and socially engaging with each other through other means. On Monday I had a group chat with some of my friends from college and I’ve been facetiming my brother who lives in Upstate New York.
Yesterday I walked 19 thousand steps because that feels like the only safe activity. The day before that I had a headache [I never get headaches] and I convinced myself I’d contracted COVID-19 before I put together I had spent the whole morning staring at my laptop screen watching Better Things and playing Tetris. Walking instead of laptop = no headache.
When I was in the process of texting my friend about how I had the virus she reminded me I needed a fever and also everything I have read said the exhaustion is unbearable and I am clawing at my face for activities which does not *scream* exhaustion.
There is, weirdly, still construction going on directly outside my house. Yesterday our water was off (it was supposed to be 8am-2pm but it wasn’t turned off til 12:30 so! who knows!) which meant I felt extra closed off because I didn’t wanna go outside if I know I couldn’t wash my hands upon returning.
At night I sleep pretty well, but whenever I’m between dreams or outside of my sleep cycle my first thought is always “ah I’m touching my face!” or “ah! Don’t get to close to Jack!” or “who will be the first person I know to have it'.” I keep thinking it’s scary and hard and there’s no end in sight and our healthcare is so fucked that there will come a point when hospitals are overloaded and that could just continue indefinitely. I feel lucky and scared and uncertain and incredibly privileged. One of my favorite newsletters from Leah Finnegan encapsulated it:
“We are all now in this boat: people whose daily lives have been obliterated, normalcy and joy replaced with fear and sadness. We will likely get a little sick. We will definitely know someone who gets sick, if we don’t already. Some people will get sicker. Others will die. Children will lose their mothers. And we have no choice but to witness it; we will spend the next few months being suspicious of the air we breathe, anticipating certain pain.”
Facetime a friend! Go for a long walk and stay far away from other people. Buy gift cards.
I watched all of the Hulu show Ramy which reminds me of a sillier, younger, messier Master of None.
My friend started a collaborative playlist with a bunch of buds and it’s been really fun to shuffle and see what people are adding. This Steely Dan cover is one such song:
The podcast Heavyweight is not actively in a season but some of the producers put together a short episode about their respective days last week and it already feels like a relic pre-quarantine.
My friend sent me a screenshot of Ben Wyatt saying “Do you think a depressed person could do this?” in response to my lil sculpey teapot and teacup and I felt both seen and attacked.
I saw Invisible Man right because social distancing hit and I really enjoyed it! It’s written and directed by a man which was shocking to me because its portrayal of spousal abuse felt very accurate.
A sweet obituary.
When I saw Ghost Rings by Half Straddle at Philadelphia’s FringeArts festival I was writing this newsletter back on TinyLetter and I said it was an amazing and unparalleled show (was it concert? Musical? Did any of it make sense?). I go back to the soundtrack often and especially the song Hellock’s Brimble and especially at around 3:27 directly feral vocalizing they sing all the darkness I can stand/all the darkness I can stand which I could listen to them say for the full four minutes.
Always a jam.
I’ve been listening to Alan Cumming’s memoir Not My Father’s Son on Libby which is an app for audiobooks and digital books that you access through your library card! They don’t usually have like *the top big sellers* but there’s always something interesting to borrow.
“This young man was driving drunk COMMA without knowing how to do it properly.”
Articles:
Why Americans can’t quit Girl Scout Cookies. Elegy for a minivan. Warren drops out of the race and the Dixie Chicks. Karen Russell on weighing money vs motherhood. The history and problems of a prep program for low income students in New York City. “Coke with chow; wow!” Ann Patchett interviews Reese Witherspoon. Daniel Craig says goodbye to Bond. Paul Curreri. Invisible Man gets women in horror. A writer struggles with whether or not to visit her dying mom during this pandemic. A profile of Francis and the Lights. Rudy Giuliani can’t cook. Capitalism ruins everything including your feminist utopia. Memories from the Soviet Union.
Food:
The grocery store was out of sliced bread so I took my frozen loaf of Japanese milk bread out of the freezer and ate half of it in a day so I made more. You do need a stand mixer for this recipe and you could probably cut down on the sugar but it’s a really fluffy bread that (because of tanzhong) takes FOREVER to get stale.
Ode to Stand Mixers.
I made this gluten and dairy free Almond-Cardamom cake a few weekends ago and it was really good but I recommend some fresh berries or something to lighten it up.
This Bon Appetit Spritz is a very good “wind down from anxiety pre dinner drink”. I’ve made it with Cynar because I already have that for negronis.
This Vegetarian Ramen can easily be made vegan with a non-dairy butter (I used miyoko’s) and it’s really really tasty. Also a good excuse to (if you really HAVE to go grocery shopping) support you local Asian market which is being hit harder than non-ethnic grocery stores because of the crisis and racism (fun!).
On Sunday I thawed salmon filets and baked them in parchment paper in the oven but first I made a sauce based on this one.
My quarantine mood:
I made oyakodon the other night because it’s one of my partner’s favorite meals from Japan but I had to use mirin instead of sake and I ended up making like chicken tenders to go on top because chicken tenders are better.
The best tea strainer.
Magnolias blooming from my run the other morning, the effect is from my fogged up iphone armband
Stay particular,
Margaret